comingout and support and transitionig 6:41 PM
If the RAF can accept my gender transition, why cant the media? | Society | The Observer.
A great story about Ayla Holdom, a search and rescue pilot in the RAF who is transitioning with the support of her friends, family and employer. Even so, she’s had to face press reports that are misleading and even false. Her courage is incredible.
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comingout and confidence 7:00 PM
Nice article from Lucille Sorella’s blog on overcoming the fear and doubt: How to be a FEARLESS Female – Transgender Feminization Secrets Blog.
comingout and confidence and SCC 9:20 AM
This was a reply to someone on the SCCLounge about their difficulties meeting people at the convention. I think it also applies to people getting out in general…
I’m not a “Big Sister,” though I do seem to find the newbies and point them in the right directions all the time. Not just at SCC, but in my own city. And this is going to sound harsh, but I mean it in the most sincere, most caring way…If you’re upset about not making connections, it’s your fault. You’re at the largest gathering of transpeople in the world, surrounded by hundreds of people like yourself. The most understanding group you’ll ever meet, because they know exactly how you feel.Did you go to any of the meals? You could have talked to the people you were sitting with. Did you go to any of the seminars? You had lots of opportunities to ask questions or talk to someone. What about just going to the lobby or the bar?Need a topic? I tell people I love what they’re wearing-that’s how I found one of by best friends! Trust me, we all love a compliment and say they like our style. Or, if I’m in a seminar and someone asks a good question, I tell them afterward. I’ve met people over dinner, listening to their conversations and asking questions.Okay, yes, I’m THAT Zelda so people are always walking up to me. But I wasn’t so well known when I first came to SCC. What I was was a shy, insecure girl. I could have stayed in my room, but I didn’t. Because I would rather get out there and fail than die by inches alone…And yes, I really am shy. Horribly so. I am insecure about how I look, I worry about that I’ll say something stupid, or I’ll have someone scream “It’s a dude!” at me from across a room.But I eventually look at myself in the mirror and I’m the best looking Zelda I can be. I’ll say stupid things, then laugh at myself and people think it’s just me being me. And people don’t scream at you, unless they’re drunk and on Bourbon Street.I guess what I’m trying to tell you is, you have to do it. You have to look at yourself and love yourself and realize that you’re the person who has to push you out there. You have to push yourself, because this is important. Every one of us faced what you did-feeling alone and unwanted. But we also decided that we weren’t going to stay that way.Courtney, I do wish I’d seen you at SCC. Because I’d have told you to step up to the diving board, and jump.Because you can swim, dear. And you’ll swim just fine.xoxoZelda Rose
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comingout and confidence and transjoy 7:45 PM
An SCC post soon, but for now…
Someone on a local mailing wrote about going to an event at the Galleria and having a great time. And then some little kid “clocked*” her. She felt very bad afterward, so wrote:
Zelda came of age in New Orleans, in the French Quarter. The locals are great people; they don’t care about your eccentricities; they do care about the kind of person you are. If you don’t bother them…
Tourists, however.
Ever notice how some people leave home and decide that the rules of decorum and manners aren’t important anymore? Exactly. I have had people scream “It’s a guy in a dress” at me. I had a lit cigarette tossed at me (it missed). I have been treated rudely, stared at, pointed at, whispered about.
I should have run back to the hotel, crying, tearing off my dress and wiping the makeup off, promising I will never do this again. I didn’t. It just pissed me off at first. Then, I realized that I really did not CARE what they thought of me. I was happy with myself, and that was what mattered.
Since then, I have been all over the country. I have had people make remarks, but that has gotten rarer. I went to the mall last year with a tgirl, and when we were leaving she asked me how I could stand the staring. I had not even noticed…
Do I look better now than I used to? Yes. Am I more “passable?” Whatever that means. Do I have a lot more confidence in myself, feel like I belong anyplace I reasonably want to be, not give a f**k what the tourists think? Oh, yes!
So, one kid clocking you is just little thing. You just go on with the day…
Sometimes you really just need to get on with it. Because when you let others limit you, it’s putting you back into another closet.
And I’m no closet queen anymore.
* Clocked-Having someone notice that you’re not a cisgendered female. They may just stare, or do something else that makes you know that they know.
comingout 8:22 PM
My stepson is 18. I’ve known him for nine years, and he’s grown into a very understanding, very smart kid. Someone who has accepted a lot of things in his life-good and bad. And tonight, I came out to him as a crossdresser. He never knew, but he took it very well. I don’t think he wants details, but he’s decided he can accept it.
Wow.
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